Doctor Doctor Mister MD

first_imgI’m not big on going to the doctor. The way I figure it, doctors don’t make any money on healthy people. Put another way, there must be a little something wrong with everyone. My working philosophy is: If it don’t hurt, don’t worry about it.Most everyone I know who has died was seeing a doctor at the time. At these prices, I say just go straight from good health to death and cut out the middlemen.I watch “Jeopardy” every night on TV. There must be a lot of senior citizens who watch, because every commercial is pushing some kind of drug. Oftentimes, the potential side effects of the drug are much worse than whatever it is the pill is supposed to help.We all know the usual warnings. It used to be, “Do not operate heavy equipment.” I get that.“Mom, I’m going to take Judy out in the crane tonight.”“Not if you take that Viagra, mister!”Consider this minor little side effect: “rare cases of severe hepatic reactions, including jaundice and fatal hepatitis, liver necrosis and hepatic failure, some of them with fatal outcomes have been reported.”This is for Torodal, an anti-inflammatory pill that people with ulcers take. So, let’s break it down. One minute you have a stomach ache because you ate some pepperoni. Next minute? You’re dead. . . and yellow.Have a headache? Ibuprofen works, right? You can buy it anywhere, even 7-Eleven. But “if your tongue swells up and you have difficulty breathing, consult a physician.”Imagine THAT phone call:Me: Hawoo Derkter Tong Thwell (choking) . . .Doctor: “Do you have health insurance? We’ll need you to read the information on the back of your card to us.”Ambien poses an interesting risk: Some people who have taken it have performed certain activities while they were not fully awake. These have included sleep driving, making and eating food, and having sex.Who knew?We’ve all seen this one: “If you experience a prolonged, painful erection, stop using this medicine and seek immediate medical attention or permanent problems could occur.”So, you go to the doctor and he says, “I don’t see any evidence of this occurring.” Now, that hurts.It’s not just medicines that have bizarre warnings. For example, “Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice” is written on a box of rat poison, I kid you not. Hey, we’re not animals — we don’t want to give them tumors; we just want to kill them.“Warning: do not use if you have urination problems” — this is a tough one, because I personally urinate each and every day. Is this a problem?It’s written on a box of Midol PMS relief pills. (Alert readers will note women suffer from PMS 23 days each month, have their periods for six days and are completely normal for two days — except in September, April, June, and November. It should be noted women should be avoided at all costs on Feb. 29 unless you are carrying a crucifix.)Not to belittle doctors, but all parents know that when our little ones were growing up, we took them to the doctor way too often, some of us every time they had a sniffle or a sneeze. This is the meat-and-potatoes of the industry — every time we walked into the office, the cash register sounded, and since our health care provider got the bills, we never knew how costly each little check-up could be. Then, after a battery of tests, which 99 percent of the time were unnecessary, we’d get prescriptions to fill, not realizing the pills were probably worse for your kid than whatever ailed him or her.I don’t take pills. I never did. Even when I was a kid and the doctor gave me something and the directions said, “take three a day with meals” I would carefully throw one out with breakfast, one right before lunch, and one after dinner. Guess what? I didn’t die.I told my mom I intended to live my life like a Native American warrior. She’d counter with the fact that the average life expectancy of a Native American Indian Brave was 31. Maybe so, but the cool ones like Crazy Horse rode around with loincloths on and nothing else. Except maybe a peace pipe. Sharelast_img read more

Alaskans 12th Happiest in the Nation

first_imgHappiness in Alaska (1=Best; 25=Avg.)7th – Satisfaction Index11th – Hedonometer Score (Hedonometer is a website which measures online happiness by analyzing posts on Twitter)11th – Physical Health Index19th – Depression Rate14th – Income Level8th – Commute Time5th – Income Growth Rate17th – Divorce Rate The least happy state in the nation was West Virginia, where many people suffer a lack of sleep, are overweight and rarely participate in sports. The consumer website WalletHub says Utah boasts the happiest citizens in the United States, where residents play more sports, work fewer hours and are less likely to divorce than almost any other state. FacebookTwitterEmailPrintFriendly分享Alaska ranks high for satisfaction and low for divorce, putting the Last Frontier 12th on a national study of state happiness.center_img The highest divorce rates in the country were recorded in the District of Columbia, followed by Nevada. In Alaska, residents were noted for high income growth, relatively low divorce rates and generally above-average happiness metrics. Researchers analyzed typical factors which contribute to happiness, including:last_img read more

Hurricane Irma ‘could be worse’ than Andrew, Florida governor warns

first_imgABC News(MIAMI) — As Hurricane Irma moves over the Caribbean and takes aim at Florida, Gov. Rick Scott warned that the “massive storm” could be more treacherous than Hurricane Andrew, which devastated the Sunshine State 25 years ago.“I want everybody to understand the importance of this. This is bigger than Andrew,” Scott said Wednesday in an interview from Tallahassee with ABC News’ Good Morning America co-anchor Robin Roberts. “This could be worse.”Scott, who declared a statewide emergency earlier this week, urged Floridians to be “aggressive” in preparing for the storm because it’s still unclear where Irma, currently a Category 5 storm, will impact. Possible targets are Ft. Meyers, Naples and Miami, the governor said.“We don’t know exactly where this is going to hit,” he said. “It sure looks like it’s going to bear down right in the middle of Florida.”On Wednesday night, Scott announced the activation of 1,000 members of the Florida Air and Army National Guard to support with planning, logistics and operations in preparation for potential impacts from Hurricane Irma. All remaining 6,000 National Guard members will be reporting for duty no later than Friday morning. Additional guard members will continue to be activated as needed.The Florida National Guard has 1,000 high-water vehicles, 13 helicopters, 17 boats and more than 700 generators on standby, Scott’s office said. The Florida National Guard is also coordinating with the National Guard Bureau to identify approximately 30,000 troops, 4,000 trucks, 100 helicopters and air evacuation crews that are standing by for Hurricane Irma support if needed.The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) has more than 200 officers standing by for the first wave of response based on potential storm impacts, Scott’s office said Wednesday night. Thirty teams with supporting resources such as trucks, coastal and river patrol boats, an ATV and two shallow draft boats are preparing for evacuation support, search-and-rescue missions or any additional needs.The Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) has established 18 emergency response teams for deployment to impacted areas and seven logistics and planning teams. FDLE has also secured additional fuel for law enforcement.Irma currently has sustained winds of 185 mph, with gusts topping 200 mph. The storm is forecast to move north of Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands Wednesday afternoon, bringing strong winds and heavy rain but not directly hitting the islands. The storm will be approaching mainland Florida and the Keys by Sunday morning.Florida officials are working to ensure retailers around the state are stocked up on food, water and gas as the storm approaches.“We don’t see any widespread shortages, and we don’t believe that we’re going to have them right now,” Scott said on Good Morning America Thursday morning. “I’m asking everybody as you get prepared — three days of water per person, three days of food. Take enough, but take only what you need. Don’t take more.”As the hurricane inches closer to Florida, Scott said there will be more mandatory evacuation orders issued around the state. The governor urged Floridians to heed these warnings.“We can rebuild your home. We can’t rebuild your life,” he said. “Prepare and take care of your family.”Copyright © 2017, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.Powered by WPeMatico Relatedlast_img read more

Going the extra mile

first_imgShattuck has served as superintendent for the past 13 years. In all, she has been with the district for 44 years. Just as the district’s board of education was about to begin a search for her replacement, members asked Shattuck, “Are you sure you want next year to be your final year?” she said. “They said, `We’d really be happy if you decided to stay.’ I said, `OK,”‘ Shattuck said. The new contract does not come with a pay raise. Shattuck’s salary remains at $206,000 a year. Shattuck said she had considered retirement because she could make as much money from her pension as she could working. But then she decided that she doesn’t want to quit working. NORWALK – Norwalk-La Mirada Unified School District Superintendent Ginger Shattuck’s on-again, off-again retirement plans are off again. A year ago, Shattuck announced she would retire as of June of this year. Then she announced she planned to stay on until 2008. Now Shattuck has signed a new contract that will keep her in her job until June 30, 2010. Even so, Shattuck on Monday insisted she plans to be superintendent only until June 30, 2009. Seriously. “There’s more than money to this job,” she said. “I am really committed to this community. I like 99 percent of the job. I don’t have something I’m looking forward to doing, either professionally with consulting or personally.” By staying on, Shattuck said, she also can help the district deal with its declining enrollment, possibly by closing schools. The board already has voted to close Huerta Elementary School in the fall of 2008. “A new superintendent won’t have to deal with that kind of negative issue,” she said. “There’s no way to put a positive spin on closing schools.” Board member Pauline Deal said she’s happy Shattuck decided to stay for at least another year. “We’ve started so many things, it would be nice to see her stay and help us continue,” Deal said. Board member Richard LeGaspi said he, too, is pleased. “It’s good when you’re going through tough times to have an experienced superintendent,” LeGaspi said. [email protected] (562)698-0955, Ext. 3022160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set!last_img